It's been a year since I last step into this place called church.
This month has been very long, very difficult for me.
If you are one of those very very very very close ones you should know.
For a moment, I ask God why?
Why did you chose me?
Remember that day I posted up a post.
So much I have been wanting to go church for the longest time.
I was listening to praise and worship songs.
And I teared terribly.
Suddenly, a ex-schoolmate of mine.
Came to talk to me on msn, asking me to go church.
We hardly talk, the last time we chat was one and a half year ago.
I know it was Him.
For a moment I doubted, I ask her.
How do you know is God who told you so?
She don't know how to answer, she said.
She sense it, for a moment she doubted.
She overcame her fear to talk to me.
Because she know is weird to ask people to go church this way.
I didn't reject.
I accepted it, I cried more terribly.
Because I know He is real, He is still always so real to me.
Today, I almost wanted to back up.
But, I didn't because I was reminded from what I've taught previously.
When you don't feel like going to church,
the more you should go.
Because He has a word for you.
So I went, the journey.
I was listening to worship songs.
I suddenly remember the very first time.
I accepted Him as a saviour, 8 years ago.
I know holy spirit was with me throughout the service.
Even I am now typing, I just tear a moment ago.
As I cried out to Him about my burden and trouble.
I open out my notes, I turn to this sermon notes I've note down.
About a year ago, the title of the sermon was "Trouble will come".
It's a sermon from my previous church, by Pastor Daniel.
I read the first sentence, it touches me from the bottom of my heart.
I cried, for the longest time.
It goes, "grieve is not the last day of rest but a starting of a wonderful day."
You thought that's it, ya I thought that's it too.
Then I opened out the bible, the first page I flip to was...
Jeremiah 15:11-20
I know He's real.
After so long, after I run so far.
After so many sins and shame.
He is still here for me.
He still never break His promise.
He still never forsake.
Even I know I am so hard to love.
But He still love.
Jesus, I love You.
