FIRST LOVE.

The last time, seriously finally.

Sad, I don't deny the fact I am sad.
Who broke up will not feel sad.

Lol.

But when you know the relationship cant continue anymore you have go no choice.

But to let go.

Ya, I cried bcos it started all with a sweet essence but it's not like this anymore.

I cried because i miss the past.

I cried and tell myself I am not going to dwell with it for long.

I love, I really love this guy damn hell lots.

But I know I have to learn to love myself more.

Since his heart already died for you, there's no way for me to hold on.

No matter what, I treasure this love.

Till now, I am still treasuring.

Six months, two years of knowing him.

I thought I can see the word 'last' in us but yaa...

It's okay, maybe one day when he learns to turn back and look.

Maybe there's still 0.01 percent of chance.

For now, I want to live a great life without him.

I always thought I can't live without him by my side.

But I know it's time for me to learn already.

Lastly, thank you for loving me Roy. (:

This will always be the song, that song to always remember you.
Like the lyrics says,
' You will always be inside my heart,
There will always be a place in my heart just for you.
I hope that I have a place in your heart too.'
This song, followed me two years. That two years without you.
It'll still follow me through the next 10, 20 years.

I will always remember someone like you, that I ever once love most in life.

LOVE SUCKS.

I damn hate this kind of feeling.

It's like standing in the middle of the bridge.

Like turn neither left nor right is wrong.

All wrong.

Shall I stay or shall I leave?

Both will cause injuries and hurts.

I hate being the way I am now.

I hate to head the clubs but my partner is not here.

I hate it when like guys will want to get close to you.

Bcos they think you got no bf.

Hello, I am not a bitch.

I hate this, I rather have a control freak bf!!!

At least it shows they care, not fucking dunt care.

PS: Sometimes I really wonder, why should I love myself so much since no one loves me... ... what.

LAST FLIGHT.

Has been very long, I last was here.

It's 6th December, 830pm.

I am at Singapore, Summerville Road.

It's exactly a month to my 20th.

It's gonna be the 200days of togetherness as well.

Well, I guess I am the only one who will take note of every little things.

2009 has come to an end.

It's gonna be a starting point next year. I hope.

Everything's afresh!

Like Roy, to me 2008 and 2009 were not good.

Too many events took place that made me learnt alot in life.

Kinda realize what I truly, really want in life.

20 years on earth, sometimes I think I am so extra in this universal.

To be very frank, I know I am a nobody friend.

I am Roy's girlfriend yet it don't seem like one.

Well, paranoid. Life is tough.

So tough that sometimes I wish I can stop breathing.

20years, I ask myself am I happy?

No, I am not.

I don't denied the happiest moments of my past twenty years.

Was during church days, in Youth Impact.

That I know I felt a little sense of worth being on earth.

But that was past already.

Today, I still choose to move on.

I don't know what will happen for the next 10, 20 years.

Twenty years, wow mum had given me to have life for 20years.

God has do the world a favour to bring me into this world.

Whatever it's gonna to be, I wish I will never be alone.

In time to come, I really really really.

Dont wish to be a lonely freak.

Eventhough I have so many regrets in the past 20years.

But I am thankful.

I thank God for always being around at my lowest point of life.

Many times, I really want to end my life.

But I know He paid a price for it. I should not think that way.

I want to thank my 'irresponsible' parents.

Eventhough they didn't really show care and concern for the past years.

But I still love them because ultimately they are still... my blood related parents.

I always remember even I am so hard to love but He still loves.

So eventhough my parents did a mistake but I still love them.

I want to thank my family, ya we are not rich but we still stand strong!

I want to thank friends being around in my life, making my life worthwhile.

You should know who you are, not gonna repeat myself.

I want to thank church friends and pastors.

They taught me life. They taught me to live up my life.

I want to thank my fantastic colleagues.

They are like my second family, shared all my problems.

They taught me life as well.

They're like the most unexpected treasures I got in life.

So many times I feel like giving up, they are the ones who stand by me.

Lastly, I want to thank Jill Lim Jia Hui.

You've been very strong, so much stronger than I thought.

You cannot choose life but you can choose how to live life.

20years, I've seen you been through so many unexpected things.

Yet, you pull it through.

Even from the start, so many times you wanted to give up, you pull through.

I know you never want to be who you are today,

but under so many circumstances, you are still not bad afterall.

I am proud of being who are you today.

It's just 20years, there are so much to learn and experience.

I LOVE YOU.

Even when no one is going to stand by you, your heart and soul still remain yours... ...

STRONG GIRL, JIAYOU!