LET YOU GO.

I left again, pretty sure this time I will not be a silly girl to u turn again.
To cut it short, when the relationship has got a big hole no matter how much I tried to mend the hole.
But the hole dunno why just keep expanding bigger and bigger till I cant mend it anymore.
I tried my best, I guess it's pretty obvious I tried my best.

But when a person don't appreciate, stop loving you anymore.
I know it's also pretty obvious to let each other go already.
Even the pain maybe unbearable.
But I have to move on I know, to make life easier for both of us.
I have to learn to change habit of not to return to Upp Thomson anymore.

I guess I have to stop blinded by love in my life.
I have been blinded by love for 2years.
And I think I got awake abit, as in I don't think about past anymore.
Life have to move on, I have been always thinking for others.
And neglected myself.

It's time to really do what I want to do in life and stop wasting my life-time.
I seriously need to get back school and fulfill my dreams.
I need to getaway awhile to renew my mind and soul.
I will pause relationship in life, cos there are really alot of things much more impt.

I used to think I can't live without Roy,
then I guess I have to learn to control my thoughts and my action.
I have been following instructions for too long and lost my ownself.

I will stop thinking stupid stuff like ending life, bcos life has so much more for me to explore.
I love jill, I love life.
I will do a better job in future.

SORRY SORRY.

Though many have said, but like everyone says decision is still mine.
My life I choose to walk the way I want.
Maybe I should stop thinking like 'laoahma' anymore.
Think less, care less, everything less abit my life will be much better.

LUV COMES AROUND, GOES AROUND.

It's never ending, 2 years still so complicated.
I guess if we are simple than life will not be so happening ah~

Anyway, I am damn tired cos I only slpt 45minutes today.
Textile centre is a heart attack. But he managed to fight back.
Heng ah~

I dunno why he just loves to always ask me the same question.
Why do you still loves me when my life is so fcuk up and I am good for nothing?
Then I will always answer, I always ask Jill this question too.

And I know even one day if you left with nothing I will still be here for you.
And if you have nothing good , I am not that good as well ah.
I've known you 3 years not 3 days, those most shitty times also seen before already ya.
No one is perfect.

I know both of us have flaws, we always make each other disappointed.
Always tells each other white lies in order not to hurt each other.
I am not a good girlfriend to be I know, bcos I tried to be nice and everything.
Here and to him, but I know sometimes I am just too hash on certain things.
Hurt myself, hurt you and love ones.

Human beings always try to potray a good image of themselves.
To protect themselves and to let people see that they are nice and perfect.
But when you tend to know each other too long, then we will start to encounter problems.
Bcos we will know each others good and flaws.

Just like us, alot of things I choose to close two eyes in order to let both of us better.
Better as in, in front of yours and my family and friends and both of us.
Anyway, already walk thus far so tough.
Just continue to fcuk it, heck it lah.

I AM FCUKING HELL WANT TO SLEEEEEEEEP RIGHT NOWWW!
6PM PLEASE FASTER COME!!!!

Sibei broken english, fcuk it alright!

CNY 2010.

Chinese new year is always so boring, because all the places are closed.
And I have to rot at home.

Anyway, it has been awhile since I post a lengthy pictures post.

Since Audrey Lim Li-ting did a great favour to post all the pics on facebook.
I shall grab the chance to share the pictures we took just yesterday with my dream camera.
Sumsung ST550!!! It's just awesome.

So, it was Sabai Sabai again!

But this time it's a little different bcos I brought a special guest along.
YES, Jill's biological mummy!

Tell ya all a little secret alright, though mummy is 50 this year

but she used to bring me to pubs at Tanjong Pagar when I was just 16! So don't play play.

She's is not just 'IN' and happening to club with us the young generation people!

She just loves it like Jill do as well!

I love mummy deep deep, though in life I admit we make both disappointed at times. Ultimately, I cannot deny the fact that she's my closest and only kinship that I had on earth.

And here we go!

YES I OSO LOVE MY GIRLFRIENDS AS MUCH!

We are bff and sisters forever!

GRANDMA IS THE GIFT.

I just painted my nails, wow i still have the skill!
Anyway, the main point why i am blogging... long story.

Bedtime story, I just got back home from dinner with grandma.
I kinda realize I really depend on her alot.
Every now and then, I tend to be really scare.
I am so afraid of losing ahma.

I know since young ahma doted me alot.
She was the one who disagree Mum to abort/ give me away.
She used her life to save me.
She used her life to bring me up thus far.

I used to be really ungrateful.
But as I gets older I learn to be grateful but kinda feel its too late.
Because she's old already.

I remember once I was standing near the mrt,
I saw her walking towards home after work.
That old and hectic ahma.
I tear, I remembered very well I teared.
Because I know I never study well.
I can't afford not to let her work for a living.

Many times, I know I let her down.
There are times, she cooked yet I did not came home for dinner.
I know I have let her down.
There are times, it was ahma that bring herbal soup to office for Jill.
There are times, it was ahma who took good care of me when I fall sick.
There are times, it was ahma who brought along an umbrella to shelter me home from mrt.

Not mummy, not daddy, none of my boyfriends nor friends.
God, please let ahma live longer on earth.
I want to do alot of things before she leaves, please give me a chance to do so.

HOW GREAT!

I got an mc today,
came work trying to save the earth but I didn't save myself!
Oh, how great... ... lalalala what so ever then.

Goodbye realistic world, I am off from work.
Going back home sleep and rest.

EVERYTHING TAKES... TIME.

I feel like going surfing! A random thought though I don't know how to swim.
But I don't think I need to know how to swim to surf ah.

The status is still unknown because everything takes... time.
We are giving each other space and time to change for the better.

And I just love my life now, healthy lifestyle, cherish people around me.
Less of nightlife, less of being slutish, more of gym, more of library!
I am trying my best to make changes for good.

Even people might hate me, dislike me.
But i always feel that i don't wish to have any enemy in life.
I learn to love and appreciate whether people love or hate me.

I guess when people really care about you, they will just turn nasty towards you.
Because they feel it's such a waste of their time to care for you.
I let people down, alot of people.
But I am still learning life.
I appreciate each and everyone that I met in life.
Whether or not did they gave me bad memories.
Even if they do, I still thank them because they make me learnt to be who i am today.

Chinese New Year is coming again, reunion dinner is around the corner once again.
Twenty years, I really hope one day I will have reunion dinner as a whole.
I miss Mum and Dad, eventhough they neglected me many times in my life.
But ultimately, I still know the blood that is flowing in me has genes of them.
And I love them just as much as God, my family members, friends, even people who hates me and him of course.

I love you Daddy and Mummy.