NO GLORY.

Whenever I'm feeling low, You're always there.
Jesus, alot of times I ask why are You still here.
I never understand.
I will never recognise myself as a true Christian or even
to be called as Christian.

Because to me CHRISTian meant alot.
It meant not just a belief.
I know it isn't just a belief, it's about giving all that you had.
It's about commitment, about leading a life that people will see Christ in you.
I know I lost this, I am not even worth to be called at a child of God.

I miss church, I never deny.
This few weeks I really thought of getting back to COSBT,
to look for my saviour, my redeemer.
But I did not, because I know I can't bear to leave behind alot of things,
and be with Jesus.
I never break free, I never obey.
I remember there was one day, I met 4 people from Godchasers.
I tell myself it was not coincidence.
It's a reminder.

God is good, God is great.
I always feels very thankful that I am blessed.
Especially in my work, and friends around.
It's I let Jesus down.
It's the eighth year I still treat Christianity as a belief.
I never hold up to be a responsible Christian.

I never learn to even be the light nor
the salt of the earth.
I never learn to even be a good servant for God.
Neither did I be a good daughter.

I never ask for pitiful eyes.
Because life has no regrets.
But Jesus is always still my One & Only Father, Saviour, Lord, Healer.
He plays an important role in my life.
Many times when I met storms and thunders in life.
It's God Jesus, He sheltered me through all these.

During my darkest times, it's Jesus who told me,
in Him there is light.
It's Him that make me found back the purpose of living.
Whenever I feel like end of the world, commiting sucide.
It's Jesus, He reminded me that He died on the cross,
so that I can have life, so that I can breathe.

Guilts, Sins and Shame.
Is why I am still worldy wandering around and
not getting back to the kingdom of God.